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Mood fluctuations and Depression

I am an Asian, living in Europe for the past five years. I am here in Europe for my higher studies (not in UK). I have been experiencing a strange mental disorder for the past 4-5 years (I would say, after I started to live in Europe) which is dampening my congnitive abilites and making my day to day life so miserable. I will try to put my pain in words, probably, this may not give you a best picture, rather, will try to portray the topography of the problem. I used to believe in myself very strongly, but, now a days, my perception is completely different.

Unfortunately, after tasting the cultural differences for the first time five years back in Europe, my brain started to freeze inch by inch. After these many years, it really become frozen and I tried all the possible ways to get it thawed. But, none of them worked.

If I am being rounded up by people from my country, my brain works to it's full capacity- for instance, I will solve a mathamatical problem in a minute or two, otherwise, will take a day or two to get a solution for that- and I experience a kind of mental peace. If I am not in the comapny of people from my country, I am experiencing a kind of randomness in my brain that won't let me sit in a place and concentrate (for instance, reading a a book or chapter is next to impossible during this stage, neverthless, my brain allows me to read my native language books or news articles or anything that comes in my native falvour during the same period). Since I am living alone for the past few years, it almost killed all my abilities.

Most of the times, I over eat and over drink to make my brain tired just to override the randomenss that is on in there. If I happend to talk to someone from my country, I will be back to a state of calmness. But, this state of calmness won't last longer since my lonliness burns it down to ashes. Ten out of ten times, I want to live in a dark room, avoid to meet any one, over eat, over drink and watch movies restlessly. Owing to these reasons, I am unable to concnetrate on my work, not able implement my new ideas in the work, and almost getting to the back benck day by day. This is really surprise to me since I know myself as very very brainy guy who can bale to think out of box and come up with new ideas. Now, nothing is working . Out of seven days in a week, my mood will be off for 5-6 days, only on the remaining one day, it is on. I am not able  to understand why my mood is so fluctutating, and I am not able to understand how to buffer it?

 

Does any one of can suggest me something to cope up with this problem???




asked Jul 27, 2012 in Depression by anonymous

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