Is something wrong with me?

Question

I have 2 states of mind that are distinct. On the one hand I outwardly can be very friendly and actually feel happy and excited. Then sometimes if I feel akward or like no one wants me around I completely feel the switch inside.

I grow immediately apathetic, cold, and distant, but I don't let people know and wind up just "Disapearing". I feel like in these moments I just don't care. I understand logically that I need to always make sure my actions don't harm myself or hinder my relations later. So I become very coldly calculating to minimise the inconvienence and damage later, but I still feel like a cold, apathetic creature that is looking at the world with an unfeeling distain.

I feel like I switch from my regular ENTJ to INTJ. From the "Mobalizer" to the "Mastermind". Is somthing wrong with me? It is a very distinct change that I can feel. Any advice on how to help or what's up????

Answer 1

Oh wow can I relate to your post! I have struggles with this myslef. I love people! I want to get to know them. I love to learn from them. But sometimes I just don't understand how they can be so unfeeling and even hurtful sometimes. There are millions of reasons for it. But your question is about your reaction to it. We all want to be loved and accepted. And when we feel rejected on any level we may pull back as a self-preservation method. But then you are alone, by choice you crawl into a little hole of your own making and wallow in your hurt.  My advice to you would be this: work on having an open heart. By doing this your going to receive great love but there is the chance you will be hurt too. We all experience it. Learn to recognize that feeling, those little clues, that you are pulling your heart back and locking it in that safe place in the back of your chest. Then go find someone you can serve. It's a magical cure. It really is! Some of the times I have felt the best about myslef is when I have served someone else; a mother of three whose husband was deployed and they had run out of toilet paper so I went and got some for them with a bag of Hershey Hugs :), the neighbor across the street who just brought home a new baby and I took them a nice dinner, or helping the little old lady at the grocery store who is too bent over to reach the can from the top shelf. Look for ways to be open hearted with people. Those that reject you have their own reasons, their own problems they are struggling with. Don't let it affect the way you live or how you feel about yourself. Reach for the best that is in you. Look for the best in others. Ignore the rest. You'll be so much happier. Good luck! You were meant for more! Be more!