For example, I hate Jane Doe because she always has to be the center of attention. When really, you're upset that Jane got all the attention when you wanted all the attention yourself.
Or, I hate how prideful John Doe is. But I am actually the prideful one.
You dislike that quality. You try to avoid the fact that you posess that quality. But when you see it manifest in someone else it grates on your nerves and sometimes causes dramatic or violent reactions.
I'm wondering if you have this reaction to someone elses faults or failings if it is always the case that it is because you in fact have that same fault or failing.