Whats wrong with me?
About a month ago I tried marijuana, I didn't like it & never did it again. Soon afterwords I started having strange symtoms like i did when i was high, i would feel kind of out of it, also I feel like people can feel my thoughts & i have to touch my lips to see if i'm talking outloud. Also I feel like I am 2 different people & sometimes i'm watching t.v or something & I just start SCREAMING in my head & I can't control it & I feel like if i'm screaming outloud but i'm not. Also I'm having trouble breathing, I'm losing sensibility in my skin & can only feel 50% of what i used to feel. I can not feel at ALL my throat & I can't eat because i'm worried i'm choking because i can't feel the food go down my throat. also i wake up DESPERATE late at night because i think that i stop breathing and i'm gasping for air.
There are a few other symptoms but those are the most frequent!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!!?!??!
Oh I have a history of secret self harm...
Example. I break a glass cup, I grab a shard of glass and cut the palm of my hand & when someone asks me how it happend i just say that It was a accident and i cut my self cooking or something, or i'll drop a weight on my hand and break it etc etc...
I don't know why I do this, probably attencion but pain sometimes feels soothing.