You didn't tell us how your dad suicided nor your age when this happened. Anyway this may have put the suicidal idea and thoughts about cutting in your mind, but it's became unconscious for you. It could be too, that this event (about your dad), generated the anxiety you feel nowadays. Do a work on yourself with a psychoanalyst. He /her will help you to remove the cause(s) of the symptoms you described us on here. Then they stop.
Psychoanalysis is recommended for the cure the symptoms you have, because from what you said, their causes are hidden in your unconscious and only Psychoanalysts deal with it and the subconscious.
Ps: if money is a problem, you need to know that most psychoanalysts adapt their prices in accordance with the income of people. Also think that if the first ones you found don't do that, you are totally free to search another who do it.