I don't know how I got it , nor do I know why I am turned on by this fetish , but I want to possibly get rid of it or at least get another one less strange to take my mind off of it . I had it since I was 8 , I don't know where it came from it just happened it seemed like . It turns me on quicker than any other thing . I am afraid I need help . Its hard to talk about and it hurts my self - esteem .