When I was 5 - 7, I started getting sexual fantasies about causing serious harm to others, usually involving suffoctaion, a lot of blood, or fire. The thoughts stopped for a while, and then completely switched direction. Now, I think this way towards myself. I looove seeing my bleed and I've realized I like certain types of pain, and quite frankly, it really turns me on. I hate it, I feel bad, I'm embarrased and I don't know what too do.